Will Rogers, (1879-1935) American humorist Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Comment on this quote Share via Email Print this Page [31-60] of 62 Will Rogers quotesWill Rogers QuotesWill Rogers Previous 30 quotes Next 30 quotes Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth!~ Will Rogers It will take America fifteen years of steady taking care of our own business and letting everybody else's alone, to get us back to where everybody speaks to us again.~ Will Rogers You see, in Washington they have these bodies, Senate and the House of Representatives. That is for the convenience of the visitors. If there is nothing funny happening in one, there is sure to be in the other, and in case one body passes a good bill, why, the other can see it in time and kill it.~ Will Rogers On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only people in the world that has to keep a government four years no matter what it does.~ Will Rogers If we took Congress seriously, we would be worrying all the time.~ Will Rogers Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?~ Will Rogers How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich -- or just out of the poor, as usual?~ Will Rogers On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.~ Will Rogers A Country can get more real joy out of just Hollering for their Freedom than they can if they get it.~ Will Rogers All one has to do to get one's stuff in the Congressional Record is to find a stenographer that can stay awake long enough to take it down. Then you mark in the 'Applause' and 'Laughter' parts yourself.~ Will Rogers America has a very unique record. We never lost a war or won a conference...~ Will Rogers Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.~ Will Rogers Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.~ Will Rogers Farmers, get out your sense of humor! Congress meets to relieve you again next week.~ Will Rogers I'm not a member of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat.~ Will Rogers I bet you, if I had met Trotsky, and had had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I have never yet met a man I didn't like.~ Will Rogers I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined or hard to check as a socially ambitious mother.~ Will Rogers I see where they are going to be more strict with these robbers; when they catch 'em from now on, they're going to publish their names.~ Will Rogers If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone, 'America died from a delusion that she has moral leadership'.~ Will Rogers It sure did kick up some excitement in the Senate when one Senator called the other Senators 'sons of Wild jackasses.' Well, if you thought it made the Senators hot, you wait till you see what happens when the jackasses hear how they have been slandered.~ Will Rogers Of course nothing is ever done about a [presidential] commission report, except, they say, once a man at the state prison for the criminally insane actually read one once clear through. Then he did something about it. He made a bonfire that lasted a week.~ Will Rogers Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.~ Will Rogers The United States investigates everything -- usually after it's dead.~ Will Rogers There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.~ Will Rogers There is two types of Larceny, Petty and Grand. They are supposed to be the same in the eyes of the law, but judges always put a little extra on you for Petty, which is kind of a fine for stupidness.~ Will Rogers This stuff they are talking here in Congress costs the people of the United States $44 a page. That's beside what it costs to ship it to the asylums where it's read.~ Will Rogers Those tax-exempt bonds were put in so that a town or a state or a government could sell more bonds than it ought to.~ Will Rogers Tomorrow is Labor Day, I suppose set by Act of Congress. Everything we do nowadays is either by, or against, Acts of Congress. How Congress knew anything about Labor is beyond us.~ Will Rogers We are always yapping about the 'Good Old Days' and how we look back and enjoy it, but I tell you there is a lot of hooey to it. There is a whole lot of all our past lives that wasn't so hot.~ Will Rogers We are the only nation in the world that waits till we get into a war before we start getting ready for it.~ Will Rogers Previous 30 quotes Next 30 quotes Share on Facebook Tweet Email Print